Le Frog Blog said it –
once you start a blog, you can’t really control where it goes
. The expression of vague emotions, thoughts, beliefs & ideas is not easy & the written form is usually some distance from the original thought.
I have recently been pursued by a tension relating to a hankering for a clear identity. Tension created by familiar discomfort. My siblings and their extended families are in Africa. I and my family are in the South Pacific. When the world is called to war, who do I side with? When I die where do I wish my dust to feed roses? When my daughter marries, where should it be?
I know what I want to be – I want to be an African, but how can I be if I live in the South Pacific? I’m just not brave enough to do the reverse migration bit – it was harrowing getting here! I can easily respect the flag & laws of my adopted country – any way Africa is a matter of geography & emotion, not political affiliation. Perhaps it is a matter of which language you spoke first. I spoke Swazi.
Mind you I am also an Irish citizen and feel quite Irish (wish I had a brogue). Well, the African diaspora begins to resemble the Irish one …
But if I win the Lotto …. I will go home, (I think).
2 thoughts on “Ex Africa …. I don’t think so!”
Hiya Mickey…My eyes perked up at the African diaspora thing! I was brought up in Namibia (ex German colony) got married in Jo’burg SA and had my wedding celebrations in Swaziland many many moons ago. Been in the UK for since 1990, hubby wanted to come home. My family and the ‘extendeds’ are scattered just as far and wide as yours and frankly I gave up worrying where and who and how. At least you know that you would go HOME when (note not IF)you win the lottery. I went back only twice since I’m here and I just didnt feel at home. sad huh.
Clear identity? Ha ha ha… traditionalism is dead. Now you’re a cosmpolitan sorta fela. We all are.